SURREAL MADRID NEWS 2003
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OUT WITH THE OLD (18th december 2003)
What a strange season it has been. First we were promoted three divisions without winning a game and now we have been relegated two divisions. So, despite only winning one game all season, we have still managed to end up higher in the league than when we started. Bizarre. We also began the season with just over £92 in the kitty but, due to a struggle for players, we ended it with only £20. However, with a slightly increased fee and the reappearance of Tony and John, we're breaking even again.
But the time for looking back is over. It is now time to look forward - to a new year and to the new season. This Sunday kick off is at 8.00pm and Big Al is hoping that the team will channel their Christmas excitement into the game to bring a long-awaited win and a good start to the new campaign. And if everyone can make it for festive drinks afterwards then we couldn't wish the season off to a better start!
And finally, Big Al would like to say: "HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all Surreal Madrid players and supporters, past and present, and a very big THANK YOU to everyone who has contributed to our continued existence. Here's to bigger and better things in 2004."

LEISURE LEAGUES CHANGE THE FIXTURES (20th october 2003)
Due to a number of teams failing to turn up for league matches, Leisure Leagues have reduced the Birmingham University Sunday League to only five divisions, abolishing Division 5 and distributing its remaining teams around the other divisions. This means that, despite not having won a match all season, Surreal Madrid have found themselves promoted into Division 2! While, on paper, this may seem like a good thing there are a number of not-so-positive outcomes. We have been struggling in Division 5 and now face the prospect of playing even better teams and coming away with even poorer results, beautifully illustrated by our 2 - 8 defeat this Sunday. Also, all our new fixtures have a six or six thirty kick off which means we are likely to struggle even more for players as most of the team find it easier to make later matches. Coupled with Robbie being on international duty, Adam being injured and Simon transferring to Brighton it looks like we have a tough end of season ahead of us. However, positive news includes the signing of new Polish player Maciek, Gaz's return to full fitness and the return of experienced player Jason Edwards. Big Al remains positive and hopes that all players will pull together to maintain their commitment to the team and make the most of the remaining games.

MATCH REPORT (12th october 2003)
Gareth Woolford reports from the first match for new Polish signing Maciek:
We started OK. Maciek gave away a penalty not knowing the rules (my fault) then pulled one back. Then we were unlucky when one of their shots was deflected twice and into the net - unlucky! Then we conceded another before half time. The second half passed without incident or a goal from either team and both played some good footie at times. Final score 3 - 1. On a good note, Maciek looks like he has some good skills and can bring some much needed presence up front.

BIG AL'S END OF SEASON REPORT (31st july 2003)
As another Surreal Madrid season of friendlies comes to an end I thought it was about time for a bit of refection.
It may surprise you to know that since we started playing together, way back on 20th March 2002, we've enjoyed 57 friendly kickabouts involving a grand total of 85 players and 10 intrepid supporters! In this season alone we've hosted 54 players, scored over 300 goals and endured pouring rain, glaring sun and even snow. Our most dedicated members have been Steve Clamp and Tony Mills who have both made it along to 18 out of this season's 29 sessions. However, no-one can quite match Big Al's record of 26 attendances.
But we mustn't forget our competitive matches. We have also recently completed our first season in Division 5 of Leasure Leagues' Birmingham University Sunday League. We played 22 games, involving 21 players, eventually winning 10, losing 9, scoring 50 goals, conceding 53 and finally finishing 6th in the table. Jason Edwards and Simon Dyer were our most reliable players, taking part in 18 matches each. Our top goal scorer was Gareth Woolford who managed to put 12 balls in the back of the net. Nice one.
And despite numbers for both friendlies and matches flagging recently, we have still ended the season with a small surplus which will shortly be spent on a new kit. So a big THANK YOU to everyone who has taken part over the last year-and-a-bit. Wednesday nights will seem a little emptier without you all. But rest assured that I'll let you know when the new season kicks off and, in the meantime, feel free to come along on Sundays for some serious competition.
All the best, Big Al.

SESSION REPORT (30th july 2003)
There was a real end-of-term feeling to our last friendly of the season. Numbers were higher than they have been for several weeks and everyone enjoyed a really competitive but good-humoured 6-a-side match. 11 year old Daniel Reide joined dad Kevin and gave the Non Bibs a slight numbers advantage. He also pulled off a couple of really good saves whilst in goal. As Old Joe struck nine we realised there was no-one to kick us off the pitch so play continued. By 9.15 Ian decided to call it a day but we were joined instead by three keen players from another team. The curtain finally fell on this season of friendlies just after 9.30pm. Final score 6 - 12 to the Non Bibs with the goal scorers as follows:
Bibs - Steve Clamp (1), Ian Kenworthy (2), Tony Mills (3)
Non Bibs - Greg (3), John Baptiste (4), Simon Dyer (1), Gary Darfield (1), Jason Edwards (2), visitor (1)
Big Al would like to extend a big THANK YOU to all those who came, particularly those who brought friends and family along to ensure that the last game was a good one.

MATCH REPORT (28th july 2003)
Robbie Williams gives his match report from the second match of the season (some editing has taken place. Mainly to remove swear words!):
The two Simons went up front with new boy Greg in midfield. Simon Dyer scored our goal - in off the keeper. Me and Jase played at the back, which is about as useful as our midfield turned out to be. Dan Slee played in goal for us and the referee gave a penalty against him for his foot being outside the area - which it wasn't. Whilst I was arguing with him and trying to explain to Tom Slee (who was watching with a bad elbow) what had happened, Dan rolled the ball out to one of their players who scored again immediately. So, once I'd turned to face the goal to watch the hotly disputed penalty, we were actually FIVE-ONE down instead of 3-1 in a match we'd completely dominated. Couldn't believe my eyes. Fair enough, they've probably got the best keeper in our league but we should have hit double figures yet only hit the target about half that (from one-on-ones as well). Sorry to be the voice of doom but if we had a keeper and players that can play at the back we'd have won the first two games instead of getting hammered. If we can't get them in we're going to get hammered every week and there's nothing we can do about it. The week after next is VITALLY important for the future of the side as Adam will be back then and if we have a defender to play alongside him and a keeper, we'll be alright. If not, we have to look long and hard at this and realise that a team full of attackers just doesn't work. All in all a very interesting evening but for all the wrong reasons.

TWO IMPORTANT NOTICES (19th april 2003)
There will be no friendly on 23rd april. The University's pitches will be closed for renovation.
But there's no need to sit at home feeling miserable. Why not head down to the Flapper and Firkin where you can see the son of our very own Tony Mills rocking with his band Ormondroyd. For more details, contact Tony or the pub - the support will be much appreciated, by Tony if not by the band themselves!

SESSION REPORT (16th april 2003)
This week's friendly was appropriately surreal. Thanks to the Arsenal/ManU match and a charity match at Pebble Mill, turnout was low and led to another merger with other sparse teams for a big ten-a-side game over two pitches. It was still light for the kick off, but as dusk slowly descended over the pitch, players became concerned that the floodlights weren't switched on. Eventually word came that the fuses had blown and that there would be no lighting. So the match continued, in increasinly gloomy conditions. Tony managed to score a goal but by 8.45 it was becoming dangerous as players were having trouble judging distances and all agreed that it was time to call it a day. After such a good match it was frustrating to finish early, but as the pitch hire will be refunded at least we all got a game for free.

FOUR GOOD MATCHES (10th april 2003)
It's only been a couple of weeks since the last news update but Surreal Madrid have had four good matches in that short time. Firstly was the weekly friendly on 2nd april. Not surprisingly, on the evening of the England match only four players turned up but we joined forces with two other teams in a similar position and had a big 10-a-side match across two pitches. Despite a dodgy leg Ross applied copious amounts of Deep Heat and managed to score one of the 5 goals. It was a close run match but the team our boys were in eventually won 3 - 2.
The League team had a much tougher match the following Sunday playing League leaders AFC Av It. It was a frustratingly one sided game with the opposition putting four past us and a blank score sheet on our side, and this despite a number of excellent saves. They are just a much better team.
This Wednesday brought two games. Firstly against another team, playing on the University's sand pitch an hour before our usual slot. Adam, Ross, John R, Chris, Ben and Ed held their own in a 9-a-side match, mixed in with a whole bunch of guys who apparently play in the First Division and Premiership of the same league we play in. Final score, 2 all. They then proved their dedication to the beautiful game by playing for another hour in the usual Surreal Madrid friendly. This too was a good game, made fast and furious by good turn-out and a couple of opportunist extra players called Peter and Sam. The closely fought 7-a-side match continued for a while after the clock struck nine, finally ending 8 - 7 to the Bibs.
All things considered, a good competitive week for the boys. Let's just hope all this practise helps us trounce the opposition on Sunday.

UNEXPECTED WEDNESDAY MATCH (27th march 2003)
Due to only eight players turning up this week, and some keen players in the team that plays before us, our boys came along on Wednesday night expecting the usual friendly kick about but came away having played a tough 8-a-side match. When it looked like a poor showing from us, the Red Bibs, who regularly play at 7.00pm on Wednesday nights, suggested a re-match of our last clash on 18th September last year. It was an even game with some nice play on both sides. Some excellent keeping from Dave combined with goals from Jason, Simon and a hattrick from Steve Clamp matched the Reds one for one, leading to a respectalbe 5 all draw. Let's hope this has stood our guys in good stead for our league match against the enigmatically named TBA this Sunday.

SURREAL MADRID MEET THEIR MATCH (24th march 2003)
Our boys could do nothing to stop the onslaught of Camino Allstars B this weekend. Factors such as the lack of a mid-week friendly and Big Al's absence didn't help, but we were simply outplayed by a superior team. However, despite the disappointing 0 - 7 score line, the match was carried out with good grace and positive attitudes all round and players were happy to shake hands at the end of the game. We can only hope to give them a harder time when we play eachother again on 8th June.

ANOTHER MIXED WEEK FOR THE TEAM (16th march 2003)
Gone are the days when a week in the life of Surreal Madrid passed uneventfully. Now every week seems to bring another piece of news and this week is no exception. It started badly when Big Al had to inform the team that we have been unable to secure a pitch for next week, so no Wednesday friendly. This is disappointing for all concerned but players need not fear a repeat of last year's winter 'down time' - a regular slot is already booked throughout April and May. Sunday brought better news but not without drama. Big Al faced a barrage of calls and texts on Sunday afternoon as keeper Dave realised he couldn't make it and the rest of the team were asked to hunt for a replacement. Eventually occasional weekday player Steve Lilley was persuaded to come along and the team assembled on the touchline, ready for the match. However, it soon became clear that the scheduled opposition (LM2) weren't going to put in an appearance. Luckily AFC Av It, who had just finished their match against Mad Explosion, were up for a friendly and made our trip worthwhile. So, at the end of the day, and despite all the drama, we managed to secure an easy 5-0 default victory against LM2 (thanks guys) and enjoy a hard-and-fast 1-1 draw against future opponents AFC Av It. The two Steves (Birks and Lilley) also proved their worth in their debut league appearances - Steve L making some excellent saves and Steve B scoring our only goal. Big Al hopes that the rest of the season is more calm and serene, punctuated only by weekly victories and the excitement of watching us climb to the top of the table.

LEAGUE TEAM ROUNDLY THRASHED (12th march 2003)
The Sunday league players were roundly thrashed this week by the newsroom guys, helped by John and Ross. In their defence, our competitive members were a man down but even a hat trick from Tom and some good saves couldn't rescue them from humiliation. There were some unlucky misses that bounced off the cross bar but the consistently poor defending, and some excellent play by the Newsroom guys, led to an embarrassing 13-3 defeat. Let's hope this is a case of poor rehearsal, good show as the team square up to face LM2 on Sunday.

FRIENDLIES GET REGULAR SLOT (8th march 2003)
It has been frustrating for players and management alike not to have a regular time slot for the weekly friendlies. This has been because pitches cannot be block booked during University term time but can only be reserved a week in advance. However, term finishes at the end of March and from then on we will be able to block book a regular slot each week. Big Al has already reserved a pitch for 8pm every Wednesday throughout April and will book dates for May and beyond as soon as there are sufficient funds to do so. Slots throught March still remain erratic so, until the block bookings come into effect, Big Al will continue to let players know the time and day of each session on a weekly basis.

EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING (8th march 2003)
It's been a mixed week for the team. Our fantastic first match victory and position at the top of the table was followed by a disappointing 3 - 1 defeat against a much younger, faster team in our second league match. But Big Al strongly believes there are positives to take away. Firstly, keeper Dave's last minute illness meant a tough decision to bolster our defence by taking Tom away from his natural position as striker and putting him in goal. This left our attack weak and highlighted the need to acquire another keeper so that we aren't left high and dry again. As a result, Tom Slee will be joining the team from this Sunday. Those with good memories will remember that Tom played for us a few times last season but has found it difficult to come during the week due to demanding work schedules. Tom is an excellent keeper and will be a valuable addition to the team. Another positive to take away from the defeat is a tangible determination amongst the players not to let it happen again and to win every match until the end of the season. Big Al commented, "With fresh blood and a renewed hunger to win we have every right to set our sights high.".

SUNDAY LEAGUE VICTORY (23rd February 2003)
Our first ever Sunday League appearance was a great success with a back-slapping 7-0 victory over Dream 6. Hat tricks from Gaz and Tom combined with a goal from Rob and some nice saves from Dave, all ably assisted by Adam, Si and Jase, put a well-deserved smile on the faces of all concerned. Thanks also to our supporters on the day - Simon's sister, Matt, Oli and Michael all came down to cheer the boys on. Despite a lack-lustre opposition, Big Al was generally happy with the team's performance saying "I think the lads passed well and worked together to create some good chances. But we weren't really tested and I hope we can keep the pressure on and keep scoring against some of the tougher teams." Next week's match is a local derby against Grass-Hoppers of Moseley. Kick off at 8.00pm.

SESSION REPORT (19th February 2003)
Due to a liquid lunch in the Big Strong Boys office, players were a little thin on the ground this week. Nevertheless, eight intrepid souls braved the sub-zero temperatures for an evening of unsurprisingly high goal scoring. In an effort to build team feeling in advance of Sunday's league match, Si, Gaz and Jase donned the bibs, joined by latest acquisition John. Tony, Stve, Nick and Kev stood against them. Play was pretty even throughout with the lack of bodies leading to a flurry of goals, keeping Big Al on her toes. As the night went on the pitch got steadily colder - and icier. Slips and slides became more frequent and eventually culminated in a multi-player pile-up - Steve got a ball where it hurts and went down on top of Si and Kev, who had just brought eachother down in a violent clash of legs. But limbs were soon untangled and as Old Joe struck nine the Bibs managed to put away one last goal, bringing the final score to a healthy 14 all.

SURREAL MADRID JOIN A LEAGUE! (10th February 2003)
Yes, it's true. The team may well be on the verge of finding out exactly how good we are! Although many of the players don't want any more than a weekly kickabout, a significant few have been dying to get stuck into a real match, and now is our chance. Big Al has registered the team in Leisure Leagues. The six-a-side league (max 9 players including three rolling subs) runs at the University on Sunday evenings between 6.00pm and 9.00pm, so no need to cramp those weekend social lives! The first match will be on Sunday 23rd February at 7.30pm so, even if you're not interested in playing, get on down to support our boys. For more information, or to volunteer your skills, contact Big Al. And this website will of course be bringing you regular updates of the team's progress. Watch this space!

HOW MANY GOALS? (24th January 2003)
The Non-bibs wiped the floor with the Bibs this week with a landslide 12-5 victory. The Bibs kept creating chances but were consistently unable to finish, while the Non-bibs make full use of the chances they got. The Bibs might have been even more shame-faced if it hadn't been for some impressive saves from a number of keepers. Thanks also go to Russ and John, members of another team who accidentally turned up an hour early. Strangely enough they preferred to kick about with us rather than stand in the cold for 60 minutes. Hope to see you again, guys.

SURREAL MADRID IS BACK! (11th January 2003)
After a winter break, forced on the team by a lack of cheap, local, floodlit pitches, Surreal Madrid will finally make it back onto the University pitches at 8.00pm next Wednesday, 15th January. Big Al has contacted the players to let them know, and to encourage a good turn out for the first session of 2003.
Big Al is delighted that her boys are getting back out there, but still remains concerned about the long term future of the team.
"It is difficult for the team to become truly established without a guaranteed, regular pitch. Discussions are taking place with the BBC Club about a move there during the summer, but even that would be a temporary measure given the lack of floodlights and the BBC's imminent move to the Mailbox."
But, while the search for a permanent ground continues, Big Al is confident that the winter break and a desire to shed those extra Christmas pounds will make for an enthusiastic start to the new year.